Social Vs Self Interest - Creating Healthy Families

Simply put, we are a culture preoccupied with their own self-interest, which, unfortunately, is reinforced on a daily basis.

The two prevailing attitudes that arise with regularity as:

What's in it for me? And what will I get?
, what will people think of me?

There are a number of questions children ask every day that can be influenced by what's in it for me / What will I get attitude.

What will I get if I ..

Use the potty?
sleep in your own bed?
to sit still for a hair cut?
Let the doctor check?
Say sorry?
Help with daily contributions?
Stop fighting with your brothers and sisters?
apply myself in school?
I agree to come home on time?
stop calling my family names?
Drop the attitude?

Scary, is not it? You start to get a sense of how this attitude can affect your children as employees, spouses and parents.

the second paragraph - what will people think of me is more commonly seen in adults. It sounds like something.

, what will people think of me if ...

My children are not properly clothed, fed, washed, trimmed?
My kids are disrespectful, rude, show bad behavior, sassy are we?
My children do poorly in school or not a star athlete?
I can not afford to have their children do what their friends are doing and what are their friends?
I can not control their children?

This attitude is disastrous for parents and children. As parents, it is hard enough to be responsible and respectful decisions regarding our children. To compound the problem by adding - , what will people think of me , significantly limiting our ability to parent from our best. The decisions we make about and for our children can no longer be influenced by what others will think about us.

Tips for Success

If you, as a parent, ever thought about how you make decisions, take a few seconds and answer this one question: should the situation require that you do what

?

Here is what Dr. Alfred Adler had to say on the subject of public interest:

"A healthy person is concerned for other people and has a sincere desire to contribute to society. So, you never do anything for the child that the child can do for yourself ."

"The first step in learning social interest is to learn self-reliance. Therefore, never rob our children of opportunities to feel competent ."

Here are 3 examples that illustrate the power of social interest:

1 Imagine your child comes to school properly dressed in the public interest. He can look around the room and say, "the needs of the situation demand that I .."

Choose a place to sit.
the pen to write with all the other supplies you'll need for that day.
Raise your hand when you have a question.
do my homework as well as what is expected of me.
Allow the other children to speak.
follow through with the agreements I make with the teacher.

Imagine a school room with students who are all alone looking for the same set of questions. Powerful stuff.

2 Now imagine your kids at home and asking internally, "the needs of the situation demand that I .."

Help my brother with homework, because he is fighting, and math is simple for me.
Say no to friends who ask me out and I know I will be drinking.
practice my instrument, because I made ​​a contract with their parents and music teacher.
Miss my soccer game, so you can go to an important family function.
Do my contributions, even though I was up late, because everyone else is expected to do them.

Yes, I know it seems too good to be true, but consider this for a minute, we are still in the selection process. This includes how we interpret the situation. So, whether our children will ask, what will I get out of this, or are themselves seeking the needs of the situation requires me to do what. Why is it so difficult for parents to believe that children, when given the opportunity, to act from a position of maximum public interest?

Ok, in the end -

3 Imagine yourself as a parent who is looking for on a regular basis, "the needs of the situation demand that I .."

Let my children to experience frustration, so you can learn more about yourself.
to stay cool and stick to the agenda of the family.
excuse when I make a mistake.
to remain flexible as my children learn to navigate your way around the ever-changing world.
model empathy, compassion and forgiveness, if I expect my children to develop these attributes.
Avoid comparing my children with anyone else - ever.
let my child make a choice, even though I know it can end badly.
Respect for the natural consequence of my child will live with faith and confidence.
Explain why the teacher of my child comes to school with no lunch and no homework.
Refrain from telling stories about my child in social situations where everyone else is complaining.

Again, you'll be able to question one is affecting every decision we make. So this week, anchor the power of developing social interest in themselves, their children and their families.